Moving to Retirement Living is usually easy - but moving to some level of care being provided can lead to feelings of guilt and sadness and are all part of discussing the move with someone close to you. Even though the decision to move is usually inevitable, it is still one of the hardest moments we will experience as a family. This is something most of us will have to face. We have known family carers who will do just about anything to avoid talking about a move with Mum or Dad.
There is no easy way to do this; however, there are some helpful points to keep in mind.
that both you and your older family member have varying feelings that are attached to this decision. Make sure you recognize them and address them if you can.
Raised voices or outward displays of anger will only leave both parties feeling hurt. This is a highly emotional time for both of you; recognize it, but try not to let it enter the conversation.
A chance to react to this decision and voice their concerns. Do not console them by saying how great it will be to move. Instead, hear them out.
Acknowledge how hard this is for them. Empathise.
Don’t be emotional. Explain how they need more medical expertise or attention than you can provide; that you want them to be safe and well-cared for.
and do not address any emotional reasons; you’re stressed, your family is unhappy, etc.
such as “if you don’t like it, you can move back home.”
telling them that you and your family will continue to be actively involved in their life. For seniors, moving from a home to new accommodation feels like they’ve been severed from their family – Knowing that you will continue to see each other on a regular basis helps them feel connected.
such as a choice between facilities, what to move and what to leave, room colors,etc… Anything that will help them feel they’re part of this decision.
If you’re family member is having a difficult time accepting this decision, allow them time. You may also consider seeking professional help, such as a counselor or a senior moving specialist like the friendly team at Senior Moves. Sometimes it helps to have a neutral outside party to talk to.
try not to feel bad about this decision. Be good to yourself and know that this is the best thing for the entire family. Dealing with your emotions outside of the decision will help ensure that your conversation remains calm and focused.